July 23rd

It’s amazing to witness my minds adaption to the roller coaster! Just when I feel like I’ve leveled off, another drop or, better yet, blast off! Navigating through new territory, mentally and emotionally. My spirit and body have stayed grounded very well throughout this process and Journey. Which is beautiful to take notice of, and something I haven’t done until now. Facts are that in the midst of chaos I have made it to the gym and had great workouts 5 days a week. I have remembered to pray, read, write, rest and meditate or calm almost every day. I’m simply allowing the foreign everything’s to overpower my mind. That’s why I mention my mental and emotional space. This is a new level in life. The risks are more calculated yes. But the responsibility level is higher too… By default that makes the risk higher.

This is exactly what I’ve asked for and wanted. Just like anything else in life, doing it is so much more mayhem than imagined! When I sit back and take a true look at my actions, attitudes, and behaviors. I am truly acting with faith, consistently, and persistently. Yeah, I’ve taken days off, to sleep, to play, to watch movies, or stare at the wall. But every day I have written. I have read. I have done some positive action that I did not want to do. And most important Even though on many things I’ve wanted to, I have never quit. I tracked down the owner of my land, I’ve hit the gym no matter what, haven’t missed a single day of reading, I’ve clarified my vision, and mentally pushed myself past the point of mental into, emotional breakdown. I’ve burned out, recharged and taken off again. Dashed out of my comfort zone and dated. Failed and succeeded at everything I have done out here, Minus the failure in 3 things: Reading every night, staying clean and sober, and not giving up. This entry has shed clarity on the grounding positive light that my body and my spirit have actually soared during this entire journey and that brings me happiness and strength for my mind and emotions moving forward!